Its been said that every pregnancy has a glitch. Snazzykat, for example, has had way more than she deserves, whereas some people don't have any until the delivery. Well, the Kovixen and I had our first (and hopefully only!) glitch. We didn't really talk about it with anybody simply because we didn't really know anything yet. On November 21 we had a routine ultrasound appointment where the doctor discovered something known as Choroid Plexus Cysts. These are essentially harmless cysts in the skull that usually go away by the 24th week (they did). However, there may be a correlation with certain genetic abnormalities, particularly Trisomy 18. So, we've been waiting on today's appointment with much trepidation to find out if there was anything wrong with our baby.
On today's day off from work, we went downtown to the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (I know! I went downtown during the week!) where we had another round of ultrasounds and a consultation with a doctor who basically said that the markers present weren't concerning enough to warrant an amniocentesis, much to our relief. There is still a slight possibility of Down's Syndrome, or even Trisomy 18, but really these aren't enough to worry about.
I can't tell you how much of a relief this is. The whole idea that there could be something wrong with the baby is just about enough to put me in a constant state of worry. Is the rest of my life going to be like this? Especially regarding things I can't really do anything about?
Sooo... although we had told the ultrasound tech we didn't want to know the sex, we were rather non-committal about it. And when Laura asked if she could tell what it was, we were surprised to hear that yes she could, and that come April, we're having a baby boy! It feels very weird to know this information. And yet, at the same time it makes the whole thing much more real. I'm going to have a son! There are two great benefits to finding out now: we don't have to worry about buying things that are "too masculine", and we can throw out half the name book and get down to the business of really picking out a name. Well, really names. You can't pin Laura down on anything. Our current strategy is to narrow the choices down and take a look at the baby and pick the one that seems most obvious. That sounds a little duboius to me, but as long as the name is not Peter, I'll probably be happy.
So, you can add us to the long list of bloggers who are having boys, although this whole thing seems very strange in the (extended) Kovacs family: 9 girls, 5 boys.
Of course there's no need to be in a constant state of worry the rest of your life!
What causes anxiety is "resistance." Resistance to what? To the inevitable. There is a simple strategy for discovering deep peace in one's life.
First, ascertain what can be done about the problem, and do whatever it takes to make the necessary changes.
Second, meditatively ponder what cannot be changed--that is, what is out of your control.
Third, stop resisting what cannot be changed, and surrender your worry to God.
There are a number of beliefs behind what I'm saying. First, I believe in a God that is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving. Second, I believe that nothing happens by accident, but that everything is gifted providentially.
Prescinding from the "problem of evil"--which I would be happy to take up at any time--one could argue from these premises that there is really nothing in life to worry about at all! I should say, at least, that there is a kind of salutary worry that acts as a psychic motor: it moves us to action. And we have a responsibility to act according to our power to change things that are wrong and fight against evil (both moral evil and physical evil--this distinction could merit a discussion in itself).
This drive towards making progress, scientifically, ethically, politically, and so on, is a good and necessary thing. But, in order to live a fuller life, free of unnecessary worry, one needs to discover the principle that resistance to things beyond our control robs us of our peace. And why "exchange" one's peace for something that is worth so much less?
Surrendering something to God is not fatalism. This would be an error at one extreme of the spectrum--passively accepting whatever comes along as "God's Will." On the other extreme, though, is a kind of secular self-sufficiency where we want to do everything ourselves, and where we cannot except that, when an "evil" does befall us, it may very well have been allowed by God so that a greater good, in the long run, could come from it.
There is a saying that sums up much of the point I'm making: "Work as if everything depended on you, and pray as if everything depended on God."
Congrats on the boy! It took me a bit to come around to it - I was *certain* I was having a girl - but now I'm totally excited. :-)
I'm glad that the cysts went away - from what I've seen, they're not that uncommon. I've known a few people who have had them, and the babies were fine. :-)
Here's hoping the rest of the pregnancy and birth go nice and smoothly for you guys!